Blah, Blah, Blah

So today was one of those days when I talked A LOT. The kind of day when I look back on it, I wonder if I annoyed the people around me. You know how it is when you are in a group and one person keeps talking and you can't get them to shut up, but you wish they would.?. That was me today.
Maybe I should spend a day alone now. That would be good.

Star Wars

Doug is gone right now with Mark, his oldest friend. (Doug and Mark have been friends for twenty years!) They have gone to buy tickets for the midnight show of Star Wars episode three. It's the last movie. You might think that with my Star Wars room filled with literally thousands of dollars worth of Star Wars toys and a husband completely obsessed-even though he claims not to be- that I would be happy that the last movie is about to open and we can just be done with Star Wars. The truth is that I can enjoy Star Wars more than most of the women I know. I get a tinge of that nostalgia every time a new movie comes out. Star Wars was part of my childhood too. I remember when my aunt told me they were making The Return of the Jedi. I couldn't believe it. I was so excited that there was going to be another Star Wars movie. My whole family went to see Return of the Jedi together at the movie theater at the mall. The truth is that if I was married to a man who hated Star Wars I would probably still see the new movies and I would still want my children to play Star Wars.

I am sad for Doug and Mark. They played with action figures together as children and again as adults when the toys were re-released. Mark was living in Florida when Episode two came out and Doug made sure he was back for a visit so they could see the movie together. Now they are buying and will watch the missing chapter together. What great memories. Thanks George Lucas.

My Tax Dollars?

It seems like everywhere I go there are cops. I mean it is really starting to be annoying. Sometimes I get in traffic with two just trying to get to work and I don' t work that far away. Maybe they are stalking me. That would be interesting. I would be boring to follow around.

Weaning.......
The other day Jack had a cup of milk. I said, "mmmmmm". He bent his head over to my shirt and said, "mmmmmmm". I am quite sure that it was just a coincidence, but it was pretty funny. Last night, after having not nursed all day long, he started laughing while I was getting situated to nurse him to sleep. It's out of hand.

The New Pope
I never realized that Popes choose their own Pope Name. That would be kind of fun. Maybe when we turn 18, we should all choose new names. Actually, maybe 32 would be a more sensible age for such a decision.
I was thinking how interesting it is that the Catholic Church and the Mormon Church both have human "heads of state" (I don't know what to call them). I wonder why as humans we like to have someone between us and God. Do we take comfort in the physicalness of a human leader? Are we not worthy of relationship we are designed to desire? Do we need a translator besides the Holy Spirit? It seems to be a natural thing we do.

The Weaning Chronicles

I think Jack is part Elephant. It is now 4:30 pm- close to it. He remembers what used to happen at this time of day.

You're Lucky to Have Them part 2

Have you ever had a dream that was just so real? I have been awake for about two hours now because I woke up from a bad dream. I realized it was a dream, but it stayed with me. I held Doug's hand (which is weird for us, we don't touch each other when we sleep-we even have separate blankets! 12 years and counting.....) and cried. The thing that has been really bugging me is that I couldn't shake it for so long. I kept thinking and planning what I would do if the dream were real. Even though I KNEW it was just a dream. The thinking and planning kept me crying. (I am getting teary eyed thinking about it now.) Finally I prayed through my tears, tried to distract myself with thoughts of other things and ultimately got up much earlier than I usually do.
The moral: Hold your family close and love them. We live in an unpredictable world and life is uncertain.

"You're Lucky to Have Them"

I went to visit my grandma tonight. She lives in an assisted living facility. When we got there, she wasn't in her room. It was dinner time, but she usually eats right at 4:30 (old people-weird- I wonder if I'll eat earlier when I am older) anyway, it was around 5:30 when we arrived and she wasn't in her room. I decided to hang out with the kids in this sitting area where the hallways meet. There was a radio playing (Mix 94.1 of all stations-not really "retired people" music) and the kids started dancing. They were twirling and hopping and standing on one leg-regular kid dancing. Well, the old people started to gather around and watch. I heard them saying things like, "It's so nice to have kids around" and "Aren't they so cute?" and "Do you want to sit and watch the kids?" I was thinking what a great thing my kids were doing for these old people by just being themselves. I was also thinking what a sad place it is (it's NOT a nursing home and most of the people there aren't really sick, just elderly and it's decorated very nice like a hotel and the dining room is like a restaurant with a menu and you get served. All in all, a very nice place. Emma calls my grandma the Queen Grandma because I once explained that people clean and cook for her.) I was thinking it is sad because those people are just waiting for someone to visit them. What would that be like? How would that feel? I do one thing, my kids were a little piece of joy tonight.

But right before we went to get my grandma from the dining hall because we had waited for about half an hour, a lady that is new to the facility came out of her room and said that she just wanted to get a closer look at the children. She came and sat on her walker right next to where my kids were. There were couches all around, but she sat in the middle of the floor on her walker. Loredana introduced her to each of us. I asked her if she had any grandchildren. She replied, "No, I don't have any children alive." Well, I didn't really know how to respond. I assumed that she had had a child at one time, but s/he must have passed away or something else terrible. Before she got up and went back to her room she said to me, "Your children are lovely, you are lucky to have them."

Yes, I am lucky to have them. I am lucky to have them alive and well. I am lucky to have them smart and safe. I am lucky to have them making messes and being silly. I am lucky to have them hugging, and kissing, and laughing, and reading, and creating, and playing, and crying, and loving.

I think she may have been thinking in terms of her own situation and that I am lucky to have them so in my old age they can care for me and visit me (I hope they will visit me). But I think she meant I am lucky to have them for the rest of "our" lives-however long that is. Everyday I am lucky.

As I was leaving I realized what a wonderful thing this woman did for me, just by being herself. I need to take my kids to visit the Queen Grandma more often because we are all lucky to have each other.