I Think.......

" Didn't buy it Remorse" might be more stressful than "Buyer's Remorse". The cause of my "Didn't buy it remorse"-low cash flow and I HATE returning things.
Tomorrow I will be purchasing several items that I left at the store tonight, IF they are still there. Oh.....the didn't buy it remorse....it's terrible. Stop laughing now.

Tonight............I missed Chris.

I'm a Pack Rat-I think it might be hereditary

There are many drawbacks to being a pack rat. You have too much stuff. You have stuff you don't really need. Sometimes it's hard to remember which of your "safe, so I'll know where it is" places you put something.

Today I remembered one of the positive things about being a pack rat. I went through my hope chest because it was really too full and I knew there were things in there that I didn't need and some things that I wouldn't even want anymore. So I began digging through my past. If you are not a sentimental person you are missing out because it is SO easy to forget about things that have happened in your past. For example- I found the car handle to the Prelude. That's right, one day I went to get in it and the all metal door handle broke off in my hand-I don't even work out! That is something I forgot about but because I saved the handle-today I got to remember. I also found a card that Doug gave me on our two week and six day anniversary of being married. I also found my diary from Elementary school. It is priceless. If you ever have the opportunity to read a seven year old's diary I highly recommend it! How about the "Teen Magazine" Back to School issues from all four of my high school years-how fun is that to look back at the clothes I wished I could have.

So, I was cleaning out the hope chest and came upon some old bowling trophies. I threw them away. Emma came along and rescued one out of the trash absolutely astonished that anyone would throw away such a treasure. To her, it was so "beautiful" and "shiny". To me it was a THIRD place bowling trophy from 16 years ago. Suddenly I realized that she was becoming me. At seven I can GUARANTEE you that I would have tried to rescue a beautiful shiny trophy from the trash also. I laughed SO hard my stomach started hurting. She just kept going on and on about how great it was. I just kept laughing and laughing.

I Couldn't Keep Waiting for Darren R.


So Darren and I both blogged on April 23. I've thought of blogging, but haven't. Then I kept comforting myself by the fact that Darren hadn't reblogged either. THEN I decided I wouldn't blog again until he did....but really-two weeks is a long time!

I have been enjoying my gardening this year. Last year was just so much work with all the bigger than softball sized rocks I had to dig out. This year there were less rocks. I'm assuming that's because I probably dug them out last year. Anyway, every time I do work in the garden my thoughts are usually drawn to God. I think He does that on purpose. I think it's important for us to be out there experiencing His creation. I think I have a much better understanding of parables about weeds and rocky soil-FOR SURE- and mustard seeds than I would if I didn't get my hands in God's dirt.

Tonight I was walking up and down the garden admiring all the different things growing there. Grapevine, peach trees, sunflowers, tomatoes, daisies-yes, daisies that I planted some time last year and never saw them. Then this year-boom-daisies! Then I saw a couple of sunflowers growing among the wildflowers. I planted those last summer too, but they never grew and I decided that there must not have been enough water for them there. But they just weren't ready until now. I also have a pumpkin plant that is growing where I planted the tomatoes this year. I planted those pumpkins last summer and never got a single pumpkin. Who would have thought that there were still seeds resting in the soil waiting for God to tell them to grow.

So, I have realized that in gardening and spiritual matters I have the same amount of responsibility/control. I need to be tossing seeds and fertilizer and water around. I need to remove rocks-as much as I hate that both in gardening and life. I have to live the best gardener life I can, however.... God is in control. He will decide what grows when if at all. No matter how much time, energy and resources I put into growing those watermelon plants- I just may never see a watermelon (bigger or less bitter than the golf ball sized one from September). That's a little frustrating, a lot sad, and unbelievably freeing.