"Here's the Church, Here's the ....."

I am processing. I have been processing all week. I am a very slow processor. Bare with me as I process "out loud". I may have to take back some things I say- which I hate, it is one of the reasons I am a slow processor, I want to make sure I stand behind what I say when I say it. Like I said, I am processing.


James 1:2-5 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. " I lack wisdom. I am askingstrong>.

Definitions from Webster (usually NOT the first definition given) of words I hear tossed around lately.

Church- a body of Christian belivers

Performance- a musical, dramatic, or other entertainment.

Family- a group of things with some common feature

Feed- supply what is needed for the growth, operation, or maintenance of

Father- 2. God 4. one who originates, makes possible, or inspires something

Worship- love or admire inordinately

Inordinately- Beyond proper limits; excessive


Apex Church- A familywho is fed by a Father. Are we or aren't we? Email me your observations & experiences at dcitizen@cox.net

Jenn Clark sounds like she longs for a family that is fed by a Father instead of a "performance" that someone has mislabeled as "church". I am sad for you. I hope you can find what you are longing for. You can always move- no pressure.

An observation: "Worship" that occurs on Sunday Night or any other organized service is the opposite of inordinately. "Worshipping" at an assigned, led time is exactly within the proper limits and not at all excessive. Email me your excessive real worship ideas at the address above. (I think I need that Squawkbox thing)

I'm still processing. I still lack wisdom, but I am thirsting for it. Pray for me.

Watch Out, Cheryl's on a Soap Box.

* I witnessed by first circumcision yesterday---- yeah, whatever. Jack seems to be recovering fine, but whatever.

Health Insurance

*The main reason I am back to work part time is to provide health insurance for our family. I have done a 180 degree turn politically on this issue after trying to be a stay at home mom and having a not even two year old who is UNINSURABLE. She doesn't have cancer or AIDS.
* I have some friends who recently needed to purchase their own health insurance policy. They finally got approved with all these restrictions and conditions. Anything anyone in their family had seen a doctor for in the last two years was not going to be covered.
* When I went to get Jack turned there was a 29 week pregnant woman in triage with me who was experiencing bleeding. She had no insurance because her husband had changed jobs. She probably had a premature baby that day with NO prenatal care, but 6-8 weeks in ICU with no insurance. Talk about stress.
* Today, I took Jack to get his second PKU blood work done. A girl was called to the counter. They asked if she had insurance. She didn't. They told her she would have to pay up front. When they figured up her total it was $1600. She couldn't pay it. They asked if she could pay half. She couldn't. She left without getting whatever tests her doctor had ordered. It seems like $1600 worth of tests might be important. She could have a terminal illness but can't afford the TESTS- how will she be able to get treatment? She won't.
* How can the insurance companies just do whatever the hell they want? How can they say that a one year old is uninsurable because she MAY require a surgical procedure? How can they simply refuse to cover the only medical reasons you even go to the doctor? How can they deny you insurance because you are an expectant FATHER and they don't want to cover your baby when it is born?
Money.
Our country has plenty of it. We are very wasteful. Our government is very wasteful. People, working people, children, elderly people are suffering. Shouldn't health care be about health care? Caring for sick people.


While I'm up here................

The Apex Exodus- I don't get it. I wish I did, but I don't. Sad.

And Jack Makes 13.

Jack finally arrived on February 6, 2004 at 12:49 pm. It was eventful and I can hardly remember most of it. Later I thought of Brad Pitt- there's a reason- in Fight Club when he is talking about the oxygen masks on airplanes. Something about how pure oxygen causes you to relax and not panic. They gave me oxygen when they couldn't find Jack's heartbeat after repeated attempts.

The things I remember are:
*They broke my water and tried to attach the "screw" to Jack's scalp, but he was still too high in the birth canal.
*I remember his heartbeat disappearing and the nurses trying to adjust the disk on my stomach to try to find his heartbeat.
*They asked me to change position and then a nurse that was NOT my nurse put an oxygen mask on my face and asked my nurse if she had paged my doctor.
*My nurse then told me that if they couldn't find the heartbeat they would do an emergency C-section.
*The next thing I remember is the room being flooded with people and they asked "dad" (doug) to move. All the people that came in were asking questions and unplugging things.
*As they were wheeling my bed out of the room, my nurse said," this is doctor so and so, he is here to help with the procedure."
*I started crying.
*When we got to the operating room my nurse asked me if I was in pain and I said no that I was just scared.
*Then there was a lot of activity and my nurse came by my head and asked if I could hear a hearbeat. I said yes. She said that it was the baby.
*The anesthesiologist told them to keep "Dad" (doug) out because I might feel more than they would like since they would have to move quickly. I agreed and told them to keep him out.
*The anesthesiologist poked my arm with a pin and told me to tell him when I could feel and equal prick on my stomach.
*They let Doug in and we both started crying when we saw each other.
*Baby crying-the best sound in the world after twenty minutes of not knowing what was going to happen.
*I asked about the Apgar and the nurse said 9/10.
*The baby nurse asked if Doug wanted to go with the baby and I told him I wanted him to go.

The next thing I remember is feeling extremely cold and was shaking uncontrollably all over my body. My teeth were chattering and stuff. They had to do an x-ray to make sure they didn't sew any instruments into my body- a little scary. I guess that's routine with an emergency surgery because they don't have time to count before hand. They didn't find any instruments, but they did find a "button". They did a second x-ray and a ct scan to try to figure out what it is because whatever it is is not from my C-section. They still dont' know and I have to get another x-ray in about 3 months. It's a little freaky. Prayer is good.

They took me back to my room where I started crying. I was remembering all the events of the day and started feeling sorry for myself laying in a room all alone without my baby. About five minutes later Doug wheeled Jack in. Doug was so happy. He was saying how all the nurses loved Jack and told me all the things they had done. bath, temperature, shots etc..

We had a lot of visitors at the hospital including Meghann who informed Jack that he lived with 12 other people. It didn't faze him. I stayed at the hospital until Monday and then we came home. The kids, with help, had made a very nice Welcome Home, Jack sign. Debbie cooked dinner that night. There are many advantages to living with other people. Between our house mates and our family we had several options for Emma and Loredana while we were on an extended hospital stay. It is very comforting to know that your children are well taken care of.

Jack.

Jack is a very good baby. His temperment reminds me of Emma as a baby. He is laid back and only cries when he needs something. He smiles often and likes to cuddle. He is tolerant of his sisters. They are thrilled about him.

Doug.

There is no better dad. He is able to remain strong through surgery and crappy cots to sleep on. He pays attention to all his kids and me. He doesn't act like things don't bother him when they do. He took this week off to help me. I am not doing him justice here. He's the best. I love him.

Guess Who's Pregnant?

That's right-me. Forty one weeks and counting. At least it's not 115 degrees.

Jack Citizen takes after His Dad- Weird.

Don't get excited. I am still pregnant. We had to go have an evaluation done today to make sure that it is safe for me to remain pregnant until Friday- it is. Part of the evaluation was an ultrasound. Both times Jack had an ultrasound done the operator said, and I quote, "He's in a really weird position." Next, he'll have a mohawk and wear only polyester clothes.
It turns out that Jack is laying sideways. They are giving him until Friday to turn the correct direction. On Friday, they will try to turn him, then induce labor. If that doesn't work, it will probably be a C-section. It all seems a little stressful and I have heard that "turning" babies is painful. Pray for Jack to act more like his mom-extremely compliant- and turn correctly so we can have a normal delivery on or before Friday. We'll keep you posted.

Guess where I am......?

At home. No baby. Waiting sucks.