Apology and Mad

I just want to make a blanket apology to everyone who has been in any kind of contact with me for the last four weeks. I've been a little focused on myself in a little pity party and very often after I spend time with someone I think about how distant and uninvolved I was with the conversation. Things are fine, just feeling a little sorry for myself. The things I thought were so difficult and unfair etc... have been shown to me in a more accurate light through the blog world and now I am
REALLY
REALLY
MAD and upset about things happening to other people. People I have never even met. I've been reading about Chad Canipe. I don't know how old he was, but close to my age-early 30's. He died last week of some type of respiratory infection. He has a wife and two young sons. What is THAT? This isn't 1900! This isn't a third world country! I'm very angry by that because it is hard to see a point to it. "Life is uncertain", "God has a plan", "Live everyday..." blah blah blah. I dont' want to hear it. It just sucks. Then there's Mark Palmer-back in the hospital with more tumors. They are trying to make him "comfortable". When I think about his son-PRESCHOOL AGE-I get so ANGRY! What is going on?! BOTH of his parents getting cancer in young adulthood-ANGRY! Then there's Miah's friend who I just read about-40's, lung cancer, two sons---ohhhhhh, ANGER!
What about these children? What do we tell these children? What do we tell ourselves?

I can certainly tell myself to GET OVER MYSELF,that's one. But I think if my girls have to walk down the aisle without Doug beside them-I'm going to tell them to be angry, very angry.....just like their mom.